Conversation with a veteran, a marriage veteran.

Met a 98 year old woman today who was married for 60 years.

MARRIAGE RATE: 6.5 per 1,000 population

DIVORCE RATE: 2.9 per 1,000 population

*https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/marriage-divorce.htm

 

Me: “Wow, that is unheard of these days. What age did you get married?”

Her: ” I was just out of high school, so 18.”

“So if your husband passed away in 2010, then you were married for 60 years!! That is incredible but maybe not so unusual for your generation.”

“Not really, back then when you got married, that was it. You had no other choice so you only thought of making it work or working with it”..chuckle.

“Now it’s one thing to be married for a long time, but were you happily married?”

“Now that’s the thing about marriage. You are not always going to be happily married. You make it work.”

“That’s very different from today. Today, it’s “I deserve better”, “Oh my, I made a bad choice”….too much second guessing, too many escape options”

Disclaimer:  I divorced and remarried.  I am happily married.  However what I know now, may have saved my first marriage and avoided much inconvenience for my children.  I was married the first time for 15 years and now happily married to a beautiful and diligent wife, herself a divorcee.  We were engaged for over 7 years before we officially tied the knot.  Talk about caution!  

The legacy of marriage

First the cold reality of a happy marriage:

  • For better or worse but not forever
  • Expect unhappy moments
  • Don’t entertain “other options”
  • It’s worth it in the end, i.e. your legacy
  • Physical abuse is a deal breaker

Your Legacy

Most seasoned married people, happily married, meaning in a marriage that they would prefer to stay in due to a level of sustained enjoyment, would tell you that they experienced periods of unhappiness where they may have even hated their spouse. It takes time to truly understand each other and not take issues personally. You will have fights. You will want to leave. However, if things don’t improve, it is time to have a third party be involved.

Someone, a woman of many married years, in her intuitive wisdom, said, “A woman looks for love and a man looks for respect, in a relationship” This doesn’t mean that the woman doesn’t need respect or the man doesn’t need love. It means this is their respective priorities in terms of needs and expectations.

Of course this is not to condone divorce, but only as a last resort when love has been extinguished or there’s physical abuse involved. There are also cases where destructive patterns do not get cured but then there is the issue of how long should the other spouse wait. It should certainly be at least a year if it’s not related to infidelity. In other words improvement may not be immediate or in the very short term.

All of this is based upon studying marriages that lasted and the couples are happy.

A successful marriage fosters and yields a great legacy normally, the effect of which is felt by generations to come. In the same manner broken marriage may inflict damages that have a cascading effect on subsequent generations.

Why this blog?

Why are we doing this?

 

Almost everyone and their dog has a blog these days. I am not kidding about the dog blog, Disney even has a show out there about a dog with a blog.  Jiffpom,  a little pomeranian, has over 10M followers on Instagram.  He gets over 100,000 likes per post.  A dog is kicking my ass!!!  Well he is beating most of the world with his cuteness.

jiffpom's profile picture

https://www.instagram.com/jiffpom/?utm_source=ig_embed

There is no denying the benefits of this fairly inexpensive way to connect with society for enterprising individuals. Whether your motive is commerce, selfless sharing, fundraising, socially conscious content, or just merely ego-norturing, a blog allows a comprehensive way to market and distribute your material, to connect meaningfully -depending on your commitment.

We had to do something that appealed to our very core being, something that pulled us not where we had to be pushed to employ our faculties to produce.  All my adult years, I have always felt that there were a unique set of abilities that each person possessed, making the statement true, “all men are created equal”. 

The problem I have felt and personally experienced, was that we tend to have a problem utilizing our time towards the fulfillment of our true desires.  Even more fundamental, we are not able to connect with our real purpose, wasting time waiting for it to “come to us”.  We don’t have the drive, we are not energized, getting even more discouraged as time flows on. We wonder why we are not driven like the other high achievers.

Now I know.  After studying other high achievers, acknowledging their respective attributes that contributed to their respective high level of performance, the answer is simpler than we thought.  What is interesting is that there is no one formula for success.  Not “work hard”, “take risks”, “be consistent”, “just do”, although “just do” is very close to the formula for success.  I have a variation of this that I use for a step in the whole success process.

Am I successful?  Am I rich?  No, not by the standards that I have set for myself.  I have a great job, car, home, etc. but I am looking for financial independence and joyful challenge in my daily work.

However, beginning last year, I am on my way.  After years of wondering what I was doing wrong, why IT wasn’t working, why hard work was not returning a healthy monetary result, it became clear.

At the end of 2020, I hope to publish my first book as a guide for those chasing success but never seeming to make real progress.

So here we are at this blog on a journey together, uplifting ourselves together as we practice the lessons I learned from the actual high achievers themselves.  On this blog, we will share their stories and their advices.  My past mistakes will be your salvation.  This blog is about you and me, about empowering and enriching our lives.  

Plan Your Content

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If you’re considering adding a blog to your site, you’ll want to have a plan beforehand. Planning your blog will help your subject matter remain consistent over time. It’ll also help you determine whether or not there’s enough material to maintain a steady stream of posts.

One pitfall many new bloggers run into is starting a blog that isn’t posted to frequently enough. A shortage of recent posts can give your visitors a bad impression of your business. One may think “I wonder if they’re still in business” or “they may want to hire a writer.”

A blog, like any other customer facing aspect of your business, communicates your brand. If it isn’t maintained and given proper attention, people will notice. Post regularly and keep your content fresh. Give your audience a reason to visit often.

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Pages vs. Posts

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If you’re new to WordPress you may be wondering what’s the big deal behind Pages and Posts. At first glance they appear to be one and the same: if you were to create either a new page or a new post you’d be presented with nearly identical interfaces and in many cases the public appearance of pages and posts will look the same.

Don’t let this fool you. There’s a very fundamental difference between the two and that difference is what makes CMSs, like WordPress, great platforms for integrating blogs with traditional websites.

Pages

Think about the kind of pages that make up a typical website. Most often you’ll see pages like “Home”, “About Us”, “Services”, “Contact Us”, etc. Within WordPress these are often treated as Pages; documents that have no particular regard for the time they were posted.

For example, when you visit the “About Us” page of your favorite company’s website you don’t expect the content to be very different from what was available there a week ago.

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