Too many people will not live their best life, I want to change that.

After a fatal car accident, I struggled to regain the confidence and security of believing in myself. I had punctured both my lungs, ruptured my aorta and broken my ribs in several places. I had lost my voice and was reduced to a raspy whisper. I went from a charismatic, daring, joyful young man who secured easy attention to someone who struggled to be heard. I was an insecure, fearful and paranoid person in the early stages of my recovery.

I learned to recognize the silver lining that came with setbacks. Out of this horrific auto accident, that changed the path of the lives of my family, I realized that I was now possessed with this immense gratitude for the present. It was starkly clear that while we took the present for granted, disappointed in a life with so many shortcomings, we were completely unaware that this could all change for the worse in a split second. The very same things that were hijacking your perspective by being such a significant negative force in your consciousness, could in a split second, be the very things you might wish later to have again, because in a split second things could get extremely worse and sometimes permanently so. I realized that the present was a gift if you lived it like it was. Never would I take my life for granted again.

Now some would say that if you lived in fear of something worse happening or be full of contentment for the present, you could be complacent and end up settling for what is with no drive to be the best you could be. That seems fair but there is a counterintuitive reaction that manifests itself in what you may believe leads to complacency. It is not just contentment that is a result of appreciation of your present, it also equips you with a mindset that allows you to see opportunities and possibilities. When you are truly grateful, you turn off the negative perspective that only sees what’s wrong and instead see what is possible. They say that the best approach to life is to take what you have and make something out of it.

With this mindset, I have been able to approach life in a way that is empowering. If you focus on what is lacking to grow then you will not see the sunlight to grow. It is not what is available really but the limitations you set unconsciously. Why do many immigrants come to the U.S. and happily live in meager quarters, with second hand clothes, cheap cars, etc. but are happy to go to work every day? Because they see possibilities not limitations. See, where they came from there were real limitations; no jobs, no real opportunities, no access to higher education, and if there were jobs, you barely earned a living to have food and shelter in an environment rampant with crime and no justice, etc. Compared to that, the U.S. is the jackpot! Truly the land of opportunities! Now they can work, actually save, go to school, etc. and reach for a better life.

When I was in Cambodia, I was visiting like many tourists the sacred site of Angkor Wat, heralded as the largest religious site in the world, spread over 402 acres. We took a break in a little market square to grab some food and refreshments. After leaving one of the many cafes, we were surrounded by about 6 little girls of ages 8 - 14 years old. They were excitedly chattering at the same time as they attempted to get our attention to purchase their merchandise, various souvenirs and handcrafts for relatively very low prices compared to a gift shop. Some of the girls spoke 3-5 languages, no doubt necessary for survival as they communicated with customers from around the world. These little girls had taught themselves how to speak various languages while I couldn’t even get through my Spanish books! What struck me most was their cheerfulness and energy. Some of them were even quite sassy. I remembered asking one of them if I could take a photo of them. She said, “how much”, with a wry smile but I could tell she was not kidding. This was business, I was taking up her time and time is money, there were other tourists to hit up. My wife got quite a kick out of that and we joyfully overpaid for the photo opportunity. We were saddened but at the same time humbled and inspired. Here were girls that instead of being in school, they were trying to make a buck for their families. They were not doing it because they “felt like doing it”, they were doing it because there was no other choice. They couldn’t tell their parents as our kids do, “I don’t feel like doing that right now”. I thought to myself what these kids could do in the U.S. with all the opportunities available that our own kids take so much for granted. In the U.S., we have the luxury of choice, the choice of whether we are in the mood to do this or that. In other countries, you just did it, because it was a matter of life and death, it was just necessary, end of story. We are living in the jackpot, don’t forget it, as much as we squabble about abortion, taxes, guns, LBGTQ, immigrants, this is still the jackpot but only if you realize it.

Over the years, I dealt with personal and financial challenges and quickly realized that the mainstream advice was generic and superficial. They were great sound bites with little teeth. So I began studying and paying close attention to the ones around us silently succeeding without writing books, instagram posts, blogging or seeking attention as an atonement for their triumphs. These silent heroes were sending their children to college, taking care of elderly family, and so on, starting from pennies and becoming millionaires. These were ordinary folks achieving remarkably goals. There were many lessons here.

While I am still learning because I have yet to realize my goals, I know it is critical that I, we, enjoy the journey because the journey is our life. It is not the destination but the journey that is our existence. How sad would it be to wait until we achieved our goals to then feel happy and fulfilled. It is actually one of the ways, people burn through relationships to achieve financial success and then upon achieving that goal have to seek to repair bonds destroyed in the wake of their journey. I believe it is the way we live, that we experience a life of value, moments, memories to cherish, creating a mural representative of the depth of our existence. We aim for success but miss succeeding at living. Join me as we find a life of quality, where abundance is of the right mix, a life that is truly abundant